Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
COCAINE IS GR8
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
