You can't motorboat a personality
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
