I cockslap morals
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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