So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
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Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
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My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i think my cat just said my name.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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