Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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