no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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