I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
