Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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