Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
