maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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