He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
