I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
