No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
