i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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