woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
