She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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