I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I could fuck to npr.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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