im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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