I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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