forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
