I'm really into asian looking animals
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
