Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
