Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
