I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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