That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
