If you die in college, do you die in real life?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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