I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
