I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
