I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
