Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
