Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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