break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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