at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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