We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
