My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
