I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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