Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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