I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize