he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
