what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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