just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
