yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
