I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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