if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
