even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
