what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
