I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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