So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
