So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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