If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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