Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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