I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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