U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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