He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
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If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
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Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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